For starters, this objection is based on the assumption that the non-Catholic knows what the Catholic is thinking when they pray the Hail Mary or follow other Marian devotions. Obviously, this is a foolish place to start from for it is impossible to know the mind of another human. By the same logic I might walk into your house, see photos of your parents and conclude you worship them. Or if I happen to see you at a football game and you say you are greatful to the man upstairs for all the gifts you have, I might assume you are worshiping the guy up in the pressbox announcing the game. The best you can do is to ask a Catholic what they are thinking and determine if your belief is true. But you also must make sure you are getting at the heart of the matter and not just dealing with semantics or mis-communication, asking, "Are you praying to Mary." They are likely to say yes, but concluding that prayer equates to worship is a personal assumption and understanding. And even asking, "Do Catholics worship Mary?" may not result in them answering the question you are asking, while a good, strong theological education will give you a very specific concept of what the word worship means, we must be mindful that in our society and culture there is a colloquial concept of worship and a religious concept of WORSHIP. No doubt, some Catholics and Christians are confused and still more choose their words poorly when it comes to discussing Mary, Catholics do not worship Mary. Worship or adoration are reserved to God alone.
What Catholics do is to honor Mary, or venerate her. And while the Bible may not directly tell us this is good and proper, if you actually read and understand the entirety of what the Bible communicates, it seems hard to dispute that we should indeed venerate Mary. Let's start with two separate items that every Christian I have ever met would agree upon.
First, besides saving us from sin, Jesus perfectly fulfilled God's law, making him The example of how we should live our lives. I don't think you'll find a Christian that wouldn't recognize WWJD. And it's doubtful you would find any that disputed that "What Would Jesus Do" is a pretty good place to start living a Christian life. Now, it's not theologically perfect, considering that Jesus being God was capable of doing a lot of things none of us can possibly do, so the answer to WWJD might be perform a miracle which is clearly not a option for you or me, but if you are considering an action and look at it in the light of how Jesus would act, you're probably on pretty safe ground. Using Jesus as a role-model of human perfection is certainly a common theme in every Christian faith I've encountered. So, let's leave this idea for a moment and consider another that...
Second, the Ten Commandments are another Christian universal, sure some have re-organized and re-numbered them slightly, but the ideas are all intact. In particular, "Honor your mother and father" is present in both Catholic and Protestant Commandments, yes it's number four in the Catholic order and five in the Protestant but it's still "Honor your mother and father." And Protestant or Catholic, we all agree, the Commandments aren't suggestions or simply good ideas, and Jesus did not abolish the Commandments, they were and remain Commandments that God has directed us to live by. So, what does it mean to honor your mother and father? Certainly it means we are to listen to them and respect them, it means we are to care for them in their infirmity and old age, but the word used is HONOR. We are to honor them. Treat them with respect, love and dignity, treat them not as equal or inferior but as our superiors, our elders worthy of honor and respect.
Now, some of you may see where this is going. We're talking about Mary, the mother of Jesus. WWJD? Honor her right? But he's not just a human being, he's God incarnate and he's not flawed like us, he's perfect. How does Jesus honor his mother? He would honor her perfectly, of course. What is that like? We won't truly know until we get to Heaven, if we can walk the narrow path and reach the promised land, but we can imagine that his love and honor of Mary is something far more glorious than the way we honor our greatest heroes, our most respected mentors, our most beloved parents, or our most successful child that brings honor upon us. One can only imagine that he praises and showers his mother in love and affection constantly.
And we all agree that we are called to imitate Christ as best we can. Some will argue, "We should, that means we should love and honor our parents as he loves and honors Mary." But that's ignoring so much else of what Jesus said to us. Look at John 19:26-27 and recognize that his command is not just to the beloved disciple that he is to take Mary as his Mother, he is talking to all His disciples, the Church. This goes along with the entire teaching that through baptism we are made adoptive sons and daughters of God along with His only begotten son. If we are God's adoptive children, and the adopted brothers and sisters of Jesus, then Mary is our adoptive mother.
So, Mary is our mother. Mary is Jesus mother. Jesus perfectly fulfilled the law which demands that we honor our mother. And we are called to imitate Jesus.
When a Catholic venerates Mary and asks her for intercessory prayer, they are imitating Jesus. In essence, a good Catholic asks Jesus to "show me how much you love your mother that I might imitate your love for her, my adoptive mother."
