OK, I've addressed the HHS rule forcing Catholic institutions to fund and condone birth control and abortifacients, now I need to address one of the arguments I keep hearing lobbed at Catholics and the Church, that obviously we hate women because we want to control their bodies and deny them freedom. Sadly, the reverese is quite the opposite, we love women and it's the supporters of birth control that apparently have contempt for women, even themselves. Here's the truth:
Women are beautiful, intelligent, loving creatures created by God in His own image, just like men. He endowed them with some very special gifts and amazing mysteries that intrigue men and that lead us to want to share our lives with another human being and to make families. Women offer so much love, compassion, and beauty to the world that would not exist if we were all men. Certainly, there is a biological reality, a procreative yearning which woman is designed to ignite in a man. But that is but a small part of a woman's being. Sex with a woman is meant to be a sign of love, devotion, and life long commitment made after getting to know the person, falling in love with who they are, not just being drawn to what they are. Women are so much more than just reproductive devices, means to male pleasure, or receptacles for bodily fluids.
But, in our culture it is women's sexuality that is celebrated. The worth of a woman is stripped down to her body and her suitability as an object for men's lust and base desires. Prior to widespread acceptance of birth control and abortion the physical realities served as guard rails to remind men and women that women are more than just sexual toys. Sex with a woman is more than just an act of momentary selfish pleasure, it carries with it the "risk" of pregnancy, so becoming intimate with a woman is saying "I am willing to make a commitment to you and only you", it should not preceded that commitment but consummate that commitment. And that commitment should only come after one has gotten to truly know, love and respect that woman as an equal partner worthy of a man's commitment. And the woman should only be making and consummating that commitment with a man she likewise knows, loves and deems worthy to be her partner and father of her potential children.
But the widespread acceptance of birth control? It allows men to take the cultural cues regarding women being mere objects of lust and pleasure and act on those without any thoughts to truly knowing, respecting, or loving a woman. And, yes, I realize that many women "willingly" engage in this type of relationship, they offer their bodies as means of pleasure willingly. However, the research is pretty clear that they do it out of a desire for connection. A desire to attract or keep a man or find love. There is the thought that if they give up what a man so strongly desires that it will make him love her, it will make him feel obligated or connected to her. But, we overlook the obvious: The man uses birth control or views birth control as a means to avoid the connection, the need to be committed. Subconsciously the man is entering the sexual act with no desire or intention for anything beyond sexual pleasure and he's using or relying on measures to preserve that status, while the woman desiring more is trying to use sexual pleasure as a way of drawing the man in, but is simultaneously agreeing that she'll engage in that activity in a manner that eliminates the need for commitment, love or respect to be part of the equation.
It's a common mantra in society that "men are dogs". We laugh that all men want is one thing. But it's the uncomfortable laugh of an truth we don't feel comfortable with. Inside women know they want to be loved, they want relationships, they want commitment. Men aren't as strongly wired for that. Men are wired for sexual attraction and pursuit and are scared of commitment. Sex without contraception carries risk which leads to feelings of commitment, obligation or responsibility. Birth control empowers men to use women for their lust, and in a society that parades women around as sex objects, puts them in a position where they feel there is something wrong or that they can't find love if they don't engage in pre-marital sex.
From that basis, we then find that marriages are based not on love or commitment, but simply a concession to continue enjoying lustful, wanton sex. And when the lustful passion wanes, there is nothing to keep the couple together.
Look around our society today. Everything is about instant gratification, selfish pleasure, "taking care of number one", and entitlement. Our society is falling apart. We have been teetering on the precipice of a global economic meltdown that is rooted in selfish, greed that had to be satisfied as quickly as possible without any thought to the future. Americans are carrying debt at levels that puts their future security at risk, because they want it now and take no consideration to the future. Marriages and families fall apart to the devastation of the next generation because the marriage and relationship is not about long-term plans, commitment, or love, but just a series of short-term negotiations to satisfy needs to immediate pleasure.
Birth control doesn't give women freedom and choice. Birth control is submitting to male lusts and desires for immediate pleasure without any concerns for who you are or what you truly need. Yes, you may derive immediate pleasure as well, but long-term happiness? There is no shortage of psychological studies about the shame, depression, and feelings of disconnectedness associated with premarital sex and women giving themselves to men when the man does not truly love or feel committed to the woman. Dr. Phil, Oprah, any of the morning news shoes or other syndicate talk shows on TV or radio quickly demonstrate that, whether we realize it at the time or not until years later, women desire a connectedness, a relationship, love and respect that birth control is designed to remove from the situation...
I want my son to respect and love women. Not use them. I want my daughters to be respected and loved not used. Birth control is simply a means to use a woman (or for a woman to use a man) for pleasure and avoid the need to first love, respect, and commit to the other...
